Gifts of love

I know, I know..it's still quiet here.. Sorry! There is soo much going on behind the scenes and all the while I'm training like crazy for my first triathlon at the end of August. Someone in my Facebook fitness group posted this picture, I love it!

In the meantime, I've been working on handmade gifts for my mom. Gifts for her to touch to remember that she is so very loved and has a huge cheering squad. Can't wait for her surgery to be over and for her to back on her feet. I miss my partner in crime.

Here is her prayer shawl. It was much heavier than I anticipated, but those hospitals can be so cold sometimes.

And a close up of the prayer cloth - free motion and crochet..

Mothers & Daughters

I don't know what it is like to be a father obviously, nor do I have a son. I could however write pages on the complex relationship between a mother & daughter. I can tell you that the pull I have to my mother is so similar to the one I have to my daughters. When any of them are in distress it is hard to think of much else. It's hard for me to discuss what this month has been like. However, I am confident now while this health misfortune is so supremely unfair, it is something my mother will conquer and move on from.

While I will not be there for her surgery, I will be able to visit for awhile doing her recovery. In the meantime I am busy working on a few items that will cheer her during the hospital stay. Is there anything you have made for someone undergoing surgery? So far on my hook, I'm working on a prayer shawl. I'm also planning on doing an embroidered prayer cloth. I would love more ideas though, so please let me know!

Needless to say, I didn't do much craftiness or art in the past month. I did work on a few photography props for a friend. It was that return to my knitting needles and crochet hook that I found some peace. It is amazing how therapeutic that craft is and I was surprised by how much I had missed it.

I'm busy working on a large Etsy order,but by tomorrow I will be back in the studio working on some yummy things to show you. Time to get going on Halloween - the months fly by sooo fast!

I also found peace and hope in pushing my physical activity. I'm signed up for 2 triathlons and a number of cycling & running events this summer. For some reason the sensation of physically getting stronger has helped me feel like I can help my mom in her fight. It doesn't make sense, but it is a way for me to harness my energy. It is so hard to watch on the sidelines while someone you love battles a disease.

I thank you again for your patience and kind words!

Letter to the Editor

Thank you everyone for your patience and kind words. We are pulling it back together and each day feels a little more normal. I have lots to say about what is going on, but as I mentioned.. it's not my story..so here's a letter from my mom to me that she has given me permission to publish.

Dear Jenny,

This morning, as usual, I walked downstairs in a sleepy fog to make coffee, and then headed to my laptop to check e-mails and my favorite blogs. I know you’ve put your blog on hold, but I miss it so much, for so many reasons. I still check to see if you’re back. I don’t know if it’s guilt or just sadness that I’m feeling because I’m the reason you’ve put so much of your life on hold.

Looking back over the past 4 months, I’ve been on a long, complicated and difficult journey. I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my entire life, how could I be diagnosed with lung cancer? Now I understand I have a rare type that occurs primarily in non-smoking women. Not only is my life in an altered state, but sadly, so are those of my loving family and friends. It is all so new and unexpected and I think we’re all struggling to regain some sense of normal.

These days, I think of Grandma, and how she continued to knit and cross stitch even as her health deteriorated. She encouraged me, as I encouraged you and so we both started crafting with our hands at a very early age. I think crafting is a huge part of our “normal.” It can be a kind of meditation and therapy and very comforting. It is difficult to just sit and rest without something in my hands.

Now we have a surgery date and there is every reason to be hopeful that my health will return. I hope that soon you will feel more like yourself and ready to restart your blog. Even though we talk on the phone almost every day, you know there isn’t always time to talk about crafting. Isabelle can’t wait to talk to Grandma, and we run out of time. “All things Belle” gave me a chance to see your latest project and see a new picture of my beautiful granddaughters. I miss it, I miss you, I miss Isabelle and Julie…I miss normal!

Jenny, thank you for being my strength, my rock, my beautiful daughter. How could I make it without you? You are always there for me and always will be. God truly blessed me with you. Please know I am feeling stronger and more positive every day and I know that all will be well. I hope that soon you will feel like creating something beautiful and new and you will feel a sense of peace and wellness.

Love you with all my heart,

Mom