Monday, May 2, 2011

Too Many Choices

I thought that when I eliminated my credit debt and was free to be an artist, that I would be carefree. I imagined that I would spend time working on my fabric & sewing art as well as making crafty goodness for friends & family.

I didn't do it... again!
When will I learn???

I've spent these last weeks busting my butt on the blog.
Making tutorials, taking photos, linky parties, etc, etc.

I'm in my early 30's and I still feel like I can't get it together. I don't know what I want to do. Do I want to be an artist? Do I want to make a name for myself in the crafting or blogging world? Do I just want to be a mom? Do I want to design for a company? Do I want to try to write a book?

In some ways before, when I felt like I had an albatross around my neck, things were easier. Make props, make money.
I had a clear goal. Now I'm out there floating without an anchor.

I enjoy blogging. I love my readers SO very much. I know I'm a very small fish in a tremendous pond, but there are those of you that come back to read my posts everyday. There are no words to explain how much it really means to me that you share your time with me..

I need a guidance counselor, seriously!

I know I want to connect with you.
I know I enjoy both crafting and the search for art.
I know I want to strive to live an authentic life.

I've removed every photo prop item from my Etsy store. If you want something I used to carry, please feel free to contact me though. I'm not anti-prop. Good heavens it gave me my start on Etsy and I'm indebted to my clients. But I feel stagnant with them. I've seen them for months and months. I feel it weighing me down.

I will probably not stick to my blog schedule so ardently.
I enjoy doing pattern reviews.
I enjoy doing the knock offs.
I enjoy doing tutorials and freebies.

I have decided that I will do Iron Craft & CSI when time and interest allows.
I have decided to make WoW a monthly endeavor rather than weekly.
I will probably condense my WIPS with my personal project/family post.

I want to be an artist
I want to be an artist
I want to be an artist

I am the only thing standing in my way..

I think I'm done with my "Jerry Maguire" moment..

3 comments:

Marcia said...

I am 53. I love my quilting business and I love creating posts for my blog - sharing creative ideas. I love reading quilting, crafting, cooking, gardening, and photography blogs. They all give me wonderful ideas to fill my head! When I was in my 30's I felt the same way. You are working on trying to find your thing! So try this....Enjoy May! One day at time! Marcia

Rachel said...

Hang in there, you'll figure it out.

eamylove said...

Bad news...I'm 51 and I'm still asking myself these questions. Good news...I'm ok with this. Life changes all the time. Just do what is right for the stage you and your family are in. It won't be the same forever. I've just found your blog and really like it already, so I hope you'll fit it in occasionally, but it doesn't have to consume you. You'll figure it out, in your own way. Enjoy!

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